The "Other" Desensitization

80% of what's required for true and lasting recovery.
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DaveA
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Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:59 am
Location: Simi Valley, CA

The "Other" Desensitization

Post by DaveA » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:12 pm

When you hear "desensitization"...you immediately think in-vivo desensitization.

That's a mistake.
The "other" desensitization, which is MORE important than in-vivo GE, is...

:idea: Desensitization to people knowing.

If you think about it, "desensitization to people knowing" IS the cure for paruresis.
So if your recovery strategy DOESN'T include a LOT of desensitization to people knowing...will you recover?
Paruresis: The fear of others discovering that you have difficulty urinating...and judging you harshly.
How do you deal with ANY blackmailer?
:arrow: You pay the demanded price
OR
:arrow: You say fuck you. Then you turn to the world and say "hey world...this asshole has some embarrassing shit to tell you about me. Here's what he's going to say."

Coming out of the water closet, is saying "fuck you" to your blackmailer, your paruretic fears.

Becoming COMFORTABLE with everyone knowing, and with doing whatever you need to do, in order to drain your bladder...is the "other desensitization".

My recovery was hinged on exactly that.
Don't neglect this critical part of recovery desensitization.
That's my opinion. :mrgreen:
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, all else is rooted in your embarrassment.

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william
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Re: The "Other" Desensitization

Post by william » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:29 pm

Dave...your very mean to your phobia..
giving it no respect...kicking it in the ass..
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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william
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Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:56 am

Re: The "Other" Desensitization

Post by william » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:31 pm

this thread is very inspiring

I keep reading this..
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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william
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Re: The "Other" Desensitization

Post by william » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:33 pm

blackmailing​ about sums up our situation
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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DaveA
Posts: 3202
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:59 am
Location: Simi Valley, CA

Re: The "Other" Desensitization

Post by DaveA » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:58 pm

William,
I KNEW you'd like this one...You're the inspiration for getting right in the face of your fears and flipping them off. :mrgreen:
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, all else is rooted in your embarrassment.

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