The Confidence Gap - An ACT Book By Russ Harris

ACT is a mainstream therapy tool, utilized by leading Psychologists and counselors worldwide.
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DaveA
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The Confidence Gap - An ACT Book By Russ Harris

Post by DaveA » Thu Jan 29, 2015 8:21 am

The Confidence Gap
By: Russ Harris

Carl, a founder of the IPA, recently recommended this book.
I've just received it and have only had the opportunity so far, to do a quick overview.

My initial impression is that I'd recommend it also.
This book is drawn from the widely accepted ACT principles, now dominating modern CBT for issues like paruresis.

Since Carl recommended it, I'll be shocked if I don't love it also.
If you're reading it also, please let me know what you think.
I'll do a proper review after reading it...possibly after reading it a couple of times.
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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jerryp
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Re: The Confidence Gap

Post by jerryp » Thu Jan 29, 2015 4:51 pm

I purchased this on Audible for my trip to mid-Ohio (also under Carl's recommendation) . I'm more than half way through listening already. I still need to download and fill out the worksheets though. So far I really like it and as I listened on I've noticed a lot of.. "Hey I do that already" It covers ACT like you said and in addition it also covers exercises in mindfulness. I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy what this book has to offer.

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DaveA
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Re: The Confidence Gap

Post by DaveA » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:00 pm

This book is a goldmine for paruretic recovery.

I laughed when I saw what Steven Hayes, PhD, wrote in the forward for this book by Russ Harris...
Russ is perhaps the clearest writer in the Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) universe, and one of the most gifted clinicians and talented trainers. He has an amazing ability to make the complex seem simple.
Steven Hayes, PhD, developed ACT in the early 1980s, he is truly it's father.
Reading his groundbreaking book, "Get out of your mind and into your life", required much more effort on my part to UNDERSTAND the ACT principles and concepts...than seemed necessary.

That's why his quote above is funny to me.
He's saying what I personally experienced, in essence..."Russ can explain what I created, I can't." :lol:

46 pages in, I've just finished Part I.
:!: DON'T skip Part I of this book.
My hiliter ran dry marking up all the key points and insightful points he made.

Russ did a masterful job of laying out human cognitive issues and why they need to be addressed. As a paruretic, you'll see yourself all over this part of the book.

The groundwork he lays out as the basis for the rest of the book IS important to know and understand.

This book is a goldmine for paruretic recovery.
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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jerryp
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Re: The Confidence Gap

Post by jerryp » Wed Feb 04, 2015 5:49 pm

I'm currently about half way through my second listen and will likely listen once more with less distraction and take notes in regards to the exercises. While Audible books are a great convenience I find myself getting hooked on a thought while listening and then I disengage on the book and engage on the thought... Hooked again... Drop that thought on a leaf and let it flow. ;)

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DaveA
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Re: The Confidence Gap

Post by DaveA » Thu Feb 05, 2015 8:13 am

Jerry,
How aware were you (prior to this book), of getting "hooked" by your thoughts?

I feel like I was always aware that I produced a LOT of negative thoughts that hooked me constantly...but I had no idea the quantity was so enormous.

Because of my rural childhood and later years spent solo backpacking, I've sat and watched water in a stream countless time. I found visualizing that for "Leaves In A Stream" was pretty easy to develop.

If it rains again someday (here in Southern California), and we have flowing streams again, I'm planning to sit by one and re-enforce my clarity of the imagery. Any thoughts or suggestions on all this, please share.
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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jerryp
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Re: The Confidence Gap - An ACT Book By Russ Harris

Post by jerryp » Thu Feb 05, 2015 6:50 pm

I'm learning a lot. I never called it being hooked but I would definitely "fuse" with my feelings. I too produce a lot of negative thoughts.

I guess psychology classes would of been helpful.

Leaves on a stream, even leaves blowing in the wind, were both easy for me to visualize. I can see the present thoughts float away and fade out. Any emotion or thought that pops in, I place on a leaf (I visualize usually a single word on a leaf) , and It floats down the stream. The further it goes it fades away, then disappears.

Like anything new these exercises will take time to implement and integrate with my recovery efforts. If you're like me once you get to chapters 14-18 you're going to want to read it several times...The information in these chapters(especially 17)really puts a check on what I want from recovery and hits on the feelings you'll endure and the work you'll need to do in order to make gains in recovery. It's very in tune to the "Cognitive shift"


I've liked it so much that I just purchased the Kindle book as well. With Amazon's Whispersync I can bookmark on Audible and see them on the digital copy and my position will be sync'd up.

ParureticPlayer
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Re: The Confidence Gap - An ACT Book By Russ Harris

Post by ParureticPlayer » Sat Oct 15, 2016 8:53 am

I don't know this book, though currently I'm reading "The happiness trap" of him which also reveals some ACT-principles.
It is a good read though you need to keep the focus on trying to repeat the exercises he presents in it on a daily or weekly basis at least.

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DaveA
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Re: The Confidence Gap - An ACT Book By Russ Harris

Post by DaveA » Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:21 am

It is a good read though you need to keep the focus on trying to repeat the exercises he presents in it on a daily or weekly basis at least.
Carlo,
I see it as a numbers game.
We pee 6 to 10 times per day.
If all or most of those events REINFORCE our distorted paruretic thoughts and fears...they will NEVER outweigh the benefits of working on recovery once per week or once per month.

I made sure that every single pee I took had informal recovery benefit and DIDN'T reinforce my deeply entrenched paruretic behavior.

I immersed myself in recovery with 2 support group meetings per week, multiple pee-buddy meetings per week, daily participation on the talk forum and daily formal solo practice in addition to all of the informal peeing I did at work or out and about.

I also made a point of visiting every single restroom I encountered, everywhere I went, even if I didn't have any urgency and just entered to blow my nose, wash my hands and exit.

I was ensuring that the "numbers game" was in my favor.
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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