no news is good news...

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william
Posts: 1408
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:56 am

no news is good news...

Post by william » Mon May 29, 2017 12:13 pm

I've not reported about my lock ups or setups etc..
I lock up regularly..with low urgency..
I either reset..or transition or just stand there for 5 minutes and pee..

anxiety is low... though not exactly zero..

nothing to report..
when my brain is no longer vigilant going to pee...

the paruretic voice occasionally speaks..
but nothing new ..the same old crap from the voice
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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DaveA
Posts: 3250
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:59 am
Location: Simi Valley, CA

Re: no news is good news...

Post by DaveA » Tue May 30, 2017 7:31 am

Willaim,
I laughed when I saw your post title...so true! :lol:

Same here.
It's rare for me to have any issue at all.
But sometimes I do...and then I pee. :mrgreen:

What IS significant for others that may read your adventures in recovery, and life as a recovered paruretic...is something you implied in this update and I just said the same thing above.

If/when we DO have some minor inconvenience...we can both handle it easily and then we pee.

In contrast, I assume your paruretic history is just like mine, in that...

Those EXACT SAME now "minor inconveniences" (in the past) would have GUARANTEED that my bladder locked up, and NOTHING would have unlocked it except suffering till I got home to my safe bathroom.

Would you say that's your experience also?
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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william
Posts: 1408
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:56 am

Re: no news is good news...

Post by william » Tue May 30, 2017 8:49 am

yes ..exactly...
our emotions tied to Lock ups have dissipated..

we still get occasional lock ups.. but
today..the world will not come to an end if there's a lock up..

in the old days...our reactions were extreme.
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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DaveA
Posts: 3250
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:59 am
Location: Simi Valley, CA

Re: no news is good news...

Post by DaveA » Tue May 30, 2017 10:09 am

We did essentially 2 things to achieve that highly desirable result.

:arrow: 1.) in-Vivo to reduce conditioned responses.
:arrow: 2.) A cognitive shift in how we think.

The cognitive shift in thinking was our new understanding that it's just a hesitant bladder and there's absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about it.

Embarrassment used to drive the anxiety which CAUSES Paruretics to lock-up.

The less embarrassment we felt...when/if we were hesitant, the easier it became to pee.

Overcoming the embarrassment, is why I'm recovered.
I CAN pee...because it's okay if I can't.

And IF I can't...it's just some degree of inconvenience, then I pee.

But again...only possible for me because its okay to have a hesitant bladder...it's just occasionally inconvenient.

In contrast...it USED to be a secret I kept at any cost...and it was life destroying.

Is that all fair to say for you also?
You can't successfully tease a person about something they don't feel embarrassed about.
I can pee...because it's okay if I can't.
The problem is embarrassment, paruresis is rooted in your embarrassment.

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william
Posts: 1408
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:56 am

Re: no news is good news...

Post by william » Tue May 30, 2017 3:18 pm

I was willing to sacrifice anything to hide my hesitation...anything ..
because my embarrassment at discovery would have crushed me..

I was never discovered in my dark days..I made sure of that...until that one fateful day
when I went to the urologist for urine flow test...

I had sweat pouring down my forehead..
and I was literally febrile...and my heart was racing out of control..I felt the effects into the next day...
peeing is easy
performing to expectations is hard

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